While cleaning out old keepsakes a found a few paper snippets describing the wonderfully colourful language that is English. Unfortunately, after trying to find the original Author of today’s snippet I ran into several other versions of this poem (mainly with the title “Why English is so Hard to Learn”) contributed to unknown writers from Anonymous to Dr Suess. So I will simply add mine to the confusion! LOL!
A CONTRARY LANGUAGE
We’ll begin with a box and the plural boxes,
yet the plural of ox is oxen – not oxes.
Then one fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest of mice,
but the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are called teeth,
why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
but the plural of cat is cats and not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine feminine – she shis and shim.
So English I fancy, you all will agree,
is the funniest language you ever did see.
Daft, I call it.
My Snippet Source: Stoep Talk 2004